Have you found yourself wondering where the old you has gone?

Perhaps you feel more emotional than you used to. Things that wouldn't normally bother you suddenly feel overwhelming. You might find yourself snapping at the people you love, feeling anxious for no obvious reason, or struggling with confidence in ways you never have before.

Maybe you look in the mirror and feel a little disconnected from the woman looking back at you. You know you're still you, but somehow things just feel different.

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that you're not alone.

One of the things I hear from women experiencing perimenopause and menopause is, "I just don't feel like myself anymore."

And it's such an important thing to talk about.

Menopause is about more than physical changes

When we think about menopause, we often think about hot flushes, night sweats, disrupted sleep and changes to our periods. But menopause can affect so much more than our physical bodies.

Changing hormone levels can influence our mood, sleep, concentration and emotional wellbeing. You might notice increased anxiety, irritability, low mood, brain fog or a feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed.

Sometimes it's difficult to put your finger on exactly what's wrong. You might feel unsettled, tearful or unusually sensitive, without really understanding why.

And when you don't recognise your own reactions, it can be quite frightening.

You may even start questioning yourself, wondering whether you're becoming a different person or whether you're somehow losing the ability to cope.

But please remember, you haven't lost yourself. You may simply be going through a period of significant change, and you deserve support and understanding along the way.

Why does everything feel so much harder?

For many women, menopause arrives at a time in life when there are already lots of demands and changes happening.

You might be supporting teenage or adult children, caring for ageing parents, managing a busy career, navigating relationship changes or simply trying to keep all the different parts of life ticking along.

Perhaps you've spent years being the person everyone relies on. The one who remembers everything, organises everything and makes sure everyone else is okay.

But what happens when you're the one who isn't feeling okay?

You might find that your usual coping strategies aren't working as well as they once did. Your patience feels shorter, your confidence has taken a knock and even everyday decisions can feel exhausting.

Sometimes menopause can bring to the surface feelings and emotions that have been quietly sitting in the background for years.

It's not unusual to start questioning what you want from life, what makes you happy and whether the life you're living still feels right for you.

These feelings deserve to be heard, not brushed aside.

The loss of confidence and the feeling of losing yourself

One of the more difficult aspects of menopause can be the impact it has on how you see yourself.

Perhaps you used to feel confident, capable and comfortable in your own skin. Now you might find yourself doubting decisions, worrying about what other people think or feeling less secure in situations that never used to trouble you.

You may also notice changes in your body, your energy levels and your relationship with yourself.

It's understandable that this can affect your self-esteem.

Sometimes there's a sense of grief for the woman you used to be. You might miss your old energy, your confidence or the feeling that you could take everything in your stride.

But this stage of life doesn't have to mean losing who you are.

It can also be an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, understand what you need now and discover what you want the next chapter of your life to look like.

You don't have to have all the answers straight away.

Give yourself permission to put yourself first

For many women, putting themselves first doesn't come naturally.

You may be so used to looking after everyone else that you've forgotten how important it is to look after yourself.

But your needs matter too.

Perhaps it's time to slow down a little, say no when you need to, ask for help or make space for things that bring you happiness.

It doesn't have to involve making huge changes. Sometimes it's the small things that make the biggest difference.

A quiet cup of tea, a walk outdoors, meeting a friend, having an honest conversation or simply allowing yourself some time without feeling guilty.

Most importantly, try to be kind to yourself.

You wouldn't expect a friend going through a difficult time to simply pull themselves together, so why expect that of yourself?

How counselling can help during menopause

Sometimes talking to someone who understands can make a real difference.

Counselling offers you a safe, confidential and non-judgemental space where you can explore how you're feeling, make sense of the changes you're experiencing and talk about things you might find difficult to share with family or friends.

You don't need to arrive with everything worked out, and you don't need to know exactly what you want to talk about.

Perhaps you want to understand your emotions, rebuild your confidence, explore changes in your relationships or simply have some time where you don't have to be the person who holds everything together.

Counselling isn't about trying to turn you back into the woman you were before menopause. It's about supporting you to understand and reconnect with the woman you are now.

You deserve to feel heard, understood and supported.

And if your symptoms are affecting your daily life, it's also worth speaking with your GP or menopause specialist about the medical and treatment options available to you.

A Moment for You

Before you finish reading, I'd like you to take a little moment for yourself.

Find somewhere comfortable, take a breath and think about these questions. You might like to write your thoughts down in a journal, or simply spend a few minutes reflecting.

There are no right or wrong answers.

• What do I need more of in my life right now?
• What am I holding onto that perhaps no longer serves me?
• When did I last do something purely for myself, without feeling guilty?
• What would being kinder to myself look like?
• If I could make one small change to support my wellbeing, what would it be?

Remember, you don't need to change everything overnight. Sometimes simply recognising what you need is the beginning of something positive.

You haven't lost yourself. You're finding your way through change.

Menopause can be a challenging and sometimes unexpected journey. There may be days when you feel confident and positive, and others when everything feels a little harder.

Please don't feel that you have to navigate it all alone.

This stage of life can be an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply, rediscover what matters to you and begin putting your own emotional wellbeing back on the list.

And if you're struggling, please know that reaching out for support isn't a sign of weakness. It's a way of taking care of yourself.

If you're finding menopause emotionally challenging and would like someone to talk to, I offer a supportive space where you can explore how you're feeling, without judgement or pressure. You don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes the first step is simply starting a conversation.

You deserve that time, too.